Email #55

today's is part of a new corporate sponsorship. ok maybe not.

hey keith,
guacamole carmel setter. indonesia bagpipes.
YOU HAVE EATEN YOUR LAST KRISPY KREME, BEGGAR!
next time, you spring for the doughnuts, fucker.
eric

see you tomorrow, ya dweedle wheedlers!

Email #54

today's is the first nice one i guess.

hey keith,
i know we've had our differences over the years, but at least you're not kevin mchale.
eric

see you tomorrow, ya touchy-feelies!

Email #53

well, here's today's

hey keith,
DON"T LOOK UNDER THERE!
eric

see you tomorrow, yabutts.

Email #52

today, a poem.

keith,
pajama, banana, copacabana!
you smell like all three!
eric

i'm off tomorrow, so see you next week, ya bed wetters!

Email #51

movie day again!

hey keith,
your chart says you're all fucked up.
eric

see you tomorrow, ya pistachio nuts!

Email #50

holy shit, look who's 50!

hey keith
you drool when you talk. you waste too much time counting your change. you don't realize how much easier it is to just forget about it. all this shit is driving you crazy!
eric

see you tomorrow, ya new forties!

Email #49

Let's all take a trip back to 1993.

hey keith,
you better chickety-check yo'self before you riggety-wreck yo'self
eric

see you tomorrow, ya dirty-gym-sock-masturbators!

Email #48

today's message is in a secret language! we have a surplus of letters to send here so were holding over until april 2nd, aka opening day.

hey keith,
oday ouyay ikelay otay ooppay? eway inkthay ayay oday!
eric

see you next week, ya m.u.s.c.l.e. men!

Email #47

here's today's selection, folks.

keith,
Lemmy is god.
eric

yes he is. see you tomorrow, ya horseshoe biters!

Email #46

Today, we pay tribute to an american hero.

hey keith,
i must have taken a wrong turn at albequerque.
eric

see you tomorrow, ya maroons!

Email #45

Today's selection was composed, by me, using refrigerator magnets at home.


hey keith,
eat dog crap,
bug boy!
eric

see you tomorrow, ya sap suckers!

Email #44

hi everyone. will this be the last week for us? or will we press on? stay tuned to find out!

hey keith,
you've got a wicked snaggletooth, man. you look like my damn cat.
eric

see you tomorrow, ya snooker-fuckers!

Email #43

here is today's letter. short and very sweet!

hey keith,
scrotum!
eric

see you next week, ya skittle-diddlers!

Email #42

today, we talk about spelling.

hey keith,
i before e except after c, bitch.
eric

see you tomorrow, ya smut peddlers!

Email #41

i can't feel my fingers. no more typing. here's today's letter.

hey keith,
it's just a matter of time. you know it has to happen. there's no use putting it off any longer. no matter how much you try, you can't stop it. look out below! poop!
eric

see you next week, ya corn-poopers!

Email #40

good morning. look what i did.

hey keith,
have you ever played pictionary? i bet you can't even draw a decent shark. you sir, are no arteest!
eric

see you tomorrow, ya smelt-smellers!