Email #29

it's finally friday and i have gone completely bananas.

hey keith,
have you ever heard of a 2:15? i didn't think so. you really need to start learning about this stuff. YOU SHOULD READ THE WRITINGS OF WINSTON CHURCHILL! Politics! Science! Technology! you need to better yourself. please assume the position.
eric

see? well, i'll see everyone tuesday.

Email #28

today's lesson:

hey keith,
when was the last time you stared directly into the sun? i bet it was just yesterday, maybe the day before. you know, you can't substitute staring into the sun for food.
idiot.
eric

that goes for all of you!

Email #27

good morning and happy wednesday or some shit.

hey keith,
i have cooked the finest of poop soups for you today! i hope you enjoy lentils.
and poop
eric

see you tomorrow, yabutts.

Email #26

hello. today's is nonsense, as usual.

hey keith,
if you have to, please make sure to walk on the left side of the street today. that's the LEFT side of the street. the LEFT. there may be a good chance for poop spray on the right side.
or maybe i'm just lying
eric


see you tommorrow and if you're into having fun with poop and the like check out famousnouns.com

Email #25

here's today's short and very sweet selection

hey keith,
how long has it been since you pooped?
eric

until tomorrow...

Email #24

Movie day again!


hey keith
My wife is not the issue here.I hope that my wife will someday learn to live on her allowance, which is ample, but if she doesn't, sir, that will be her problem, not mine, just as your rug is your problem, just as every bum's lot in life is his own responsibility regardless of whom he chooses to blame. I didn't blame anyone for the loss of my legs, some chinaman in Korea took them from me but I went out and achieved anyway. I can't solve your problems, sir, only you can Fuck it! That's your answer! Tattoo it on your forehead! Your answer to everything. Your "revolution" is over! Condolences! The bums lost!
eric


YAY!

Email #23

happy new year, yabutts.


hey keith,
you are so full of jargon! you are like an ogre who has lost his favorite turtle. you have corn in your poop and, judging by the other strange thing found inside by scientists, you need to be chewing you food better. if not, you could get an ulcer, or something.
this has been a public service announcement.
eric


see you later.